Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Ouidad :Curly Hair Products to Enhance & Treat Your Natural Curls
If you are struggling with unmanageable curls Ouidad hair salons have expertise in cutting, caring for, and styling curly hair of all textures and lengths. The costs range from $90-$200 but it's worth the money. Their bestseller is Ouidad Climate Control gel.
This gets rid of frizz – even in high humidity – plus, your curls stay smooth.
For more than 30 years Ouidad has been studying, treating, styling and educating curly-haired clients in her Manhattan (and now Santa Monica) salons. Her years of hands-on experience with every imaginable curl type led to the development of an award winning product line and the creation of trademarked cutting and styling techniques for which her salons are now known.
Every stylist at the Ouidad salons has undergone extensive training with a focus on the key aspects of curl care. Trained under Ouidad, they are masters of the Carve & Slice method of cutting and skilled in Ouidad Salon styling and finishing techniques. Stylists are also experts regarding the Ouidad products
with extensive knowledge of formulations, application and product recommendation.
Check out these BEFORE and AFTER photos. You can decide which products are for you by using the curl profiler.
You can call to set up an appointment at 212-888-3288. ********************************************************************************
Sephora had a sale on Ouidad products. I bought a few. Hopefully it works as well as people preach it does!
I will do a review of these products soon!
This gets rid of frizz – even in high humidity – plus, your curls stay smooth. For more than 30 years Ouidad has been studying, treating, styling and educating curly-haired clients in her Manhattan (and now Santa Monica) salons. Her years of hands-on experience with every imaginable curl type led to the development of an award winning product line and the creation of trademarked cutting and styling techniques for which her salons are now known.Every stylist at the Ouidad salons has undergone extensive training with a focus on the key aspects of curl care. Trained under Ouidad, they are masters of the Carve & Slice method of cutting and skilled in Ouidad Salon styling and finishing techniques. Stylists are also experts regarding the Ouidad products
with extensive knowledge of formulations, application and product recommendation.Check out these BEFORE and AFTER photos. You can decide which products are for you by using the curl profiler.
You can call to set up an appointment at 212-888-3288. ********************************************************************************
Sephora had a sale on Ouidad products. I bought a few. Hopefully it works as well as people preach it does!
I will do a review of these products soon!
Are Dominican Blowouts Healthy?
There are many advantages to getting a Dominican blowout and dominican hairstylists have gained increasing popularity here in the US. Many Black women and women of other nationalities with fine to coarse curly hair have been very pleased with their results.
Dominican hairstylists usually use really big rollers in order to minimize the time the customer spends inside the hair dryer. Also this helps the hair come out straighter and less curly since the hair is not being spun around the roller as many times. Using large rollers helps people with short hair because it comes out straighter and it suffers less heat damage.
Dominican hairstylists use a blowdryer most of the time to straighten the customers hair instead of a flat iron or other straightening tool. This can take anywhere from 30mins.to 1 hr. depending on your hair length and texture. Meaning that the hair may suffer from heat damage.
When I used to get my hair done at the Dominican hairsalons it would always have many split ends from brushing it so much while styling. When I stopped going to the salon my hair I did not have not one split end. Also it would get dry from exposing it so much to the heat from the blower and hair dryer for such long periods of time. I recommend leaving some special leave in conditioner or other moisturizing hair product in. Moreover the constant pulling from the round comb would break my hair. Dominican hair salon stylists are known for pulling hair. This caused me to have broken hairs along my hairline that naturally would not occur.
If you like to let your hair naturally curly constantly getting it straightened whether with a perm of simply with a blow dryer WILL damage your natural curl pattern. Something to think about. Dominicans are good at getting hair pin straight but NOT managing curly hair. That is not what Dominican hairstylists are experts at.
For many years I never understood why my hair didn't curl as much as other Spanish girls when it was wet. I had never gotten a perm, my mother never allowed me to. Something I realized when I stopped going to Dominicans hairstylists is that for the first time I had to learn how to manage my natural hair. It was a bit tricky at first but over the years I have found the best way to treat my hair. My hair became curly as opposed to wavy as a result of this, because it grew into its natural hair pattern. Also I learned how to best define my natural hair pattern using Dominican hair products that are made from natural fruits and scents such as coconut, avocado, rosemary, cinammon...etc. Also I quickly learned that Garnier Fructisse is my best friend. Nothing helps detangle my hair faster than Garnier.
Many Dominican hairstylists from my experience frown at natural curly wet hairstyles saying it will damage the hair but I would rather leave some quality leave in conditioner or moisturizer in my hair and let it dry naturally than go to the salon.
So are Dominican blowouts healthy? It depends, if you go too often it can cause heat damage from extended exposure to high temperature.There are issues such as breakage, damage to natural hair pattern, dryness, split ends, and many more.
I almost forgot to mention this, for the women with very coarse hair going to a Dominican hair stylist would be better for you than using a hot comb, and a perm. It is more healthy to let your hair dry with rollers under a dryer and no perm. I would definitely recommend a Dominican hair stylist if straight hair is what you are going for. Lastly, to have straight hair you don't need a perm. Many women with coarser hair realize this after going to a Dominican hairstylist for the first time and seeing there hair become manageable, tidy, and behaving without the use of a hot comb, or perm.
The Dominican blowout is a fairly new thing which started when blowdryers came out. Before then Dominican women would wrap their hair in rollers, keep them in until they would dry naturally. Their hair still managed to have bounce, body, and be healthy.
Dominican hairstylists usually use really big rollers in order to minimize the time the customer spends inside the hair dryer. Also this helps the hair come out straighter and less curly since the hair is not being spun around the roller as many times. Using large rollers helps people with short hair because it comes out straighter and it suffers less heat damage.
Dominican hairstylists use a blowdryer most of the time to straighten the customers hair instead of a flat iron or other straightening tool. This can take anywhere from 30mins.to 1 hr. depending on your hair length and texture. Meaning that the hair may suffer from heat damage.
When I used to get my hair done at the Dominican hairsalons it would always have many split ends from brushing it so much while styling. When I stopped going to the salon my hair I did not have not one split end. Also it would get dry from exposing it so much to the heat from the blower and hair dryer for such long periods of time. I recommend leaving some special leave in conditioner or other moisturizing hair product in. Moreover the constant pulling from the round comb would break my hair. Dominican hair salon stylists are known for pulling hair. This caused me to have broken hairs along my hairline that naturally would not occur.
If you like to let your hair naturally curly constantly getting it straightened whether with a perm of simply with a blow dryer WILL damage your natural curl pattern. Something to think about. Dominicans are good at getting hair pin straight but NOT managing curly hair. That is not what Dominican hairstylists are experts at.
For many years I never understood why my hair didn't curl as much as other Spanish girls when it was wet. I had never gotten a perm, my mother never allowed me to. Something I realized when I stopped going to Dominicans hairstylists is that for the first time I had to learn how to manage my natural hair. It was a bit tricky at first but over the years I have found the best way to treat my hair. My hair became curly as opposed to wavy as a result of this, because it grew into its natural hair pattern. Also I learned how to best define my natural hair pattern using Dominican hair products that are made from natural fruits and scents such as coconut, avocado, rosemary, cinammon...etc. Also I quickly learned that Garnier Fructisse is my best friend. Nothing helps detangle my hair faster than Garnier.
Many Dominican hairstylists from my experience frown at natural curly wet hairstyles saying it will damage the hair but I would rather leave some quality leave in conditioner or moisturizer in my hair and let it dry naturally than go to the salon.
So are Dominican blowouts healthy? It depends, if you go too often it can cause heat damage from extended exposure to high temperature.There are issues such as breakage, damage to natural hair pattern, dryness, split ends, and many more.
I almost forgot to mention this, for the women with very coarse hair going to a Dominican hair stylist would be better for you than using a hot comb, and a perm. It is more healthy to let your hair dry with rollers under a dryer and no perm. I would definitely recommend a Dominican hair stylist if straight hair is what you are going for. Lastly, to have straight hair you don't need a perm. Many women with coarser hair realize this after going to a Dominican hairstylist for the first time and seeing there hair become manageable, tidy, and behaving without the use of a hot comb, or perm.
The Dominican blowout is a fairly new thing which started when blowdryers came out. Before then Dominican women would wrap their hair in rollers, keep them in until they would dry naturally. Their hair still managed to have bounce, body, and be healthy.
College Money Making Business Ideas
OK so I have been thinking and researching many different sites for good ideas that would be profitable for the average college student. I didn't find any I liked so I came up with a few of my own. These are quick and simple ways to make money.
Photography- If you have some really good photography skills, and have an excellent knowledge of how to use photo editing software. You can do photo shoots for students and events that occur around campus. This serves great to make money and you can put this on your resume as a freelancer!
Cooking- if you are really good at cooking whether its cookies, baking, roasting, etc. You can cook up a whole batch of whatever you desire and sell it to your peers.
Cleaning- If you like to clean buy some hefty cleaning products and launch a cleaning business. You can charge anywhere from 25 -75 dollars for cleaning students houses or dorms. Many students don't have time to clean or are too lazy to do it. I'm pretty sure many wouldn't mind dividing the cost among their roomates and have you clean their house. A good starting point would be at $50 to $75 per house. You can raise the price if there are alot of people living there.
Dancing/ Musician- If you are a dancer or musician or are part of a dance team you can definitely charge student organizations and local community venues to do shows at their events.
Tutoring: If you have a vast knowledge with subjects such as Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Political Science, Biotechnology, Math, Calculus, Cell Physiology, etc. this is the perfect option for you. You can even charge to do group tutoring sessions and track your tutees success rates by keeping track of their progress.
DJ'ing: Many people would be excited to have a good DJ with a great knowledge of the hottest tracks out and how to mix them with other music styles to create an awesome music mix to last the night!! This would be a great gig for student hosted parties, school hosted parties, and large school events. You can make alot of money with this if you go to a party school!
Rent your living room: If you have a big house or big living room. Rent your space over the weekend to someone or a big group of people who want to throw a massive party. Also visitors who are not part of the guest list have to pay anywhere from 5 to 10 bucks to get in. You must set the guidelines down. What you will and will not accept. Also they have to sign whatever contract you guys come up with. They should clean up the space after they are done. If its part of your set deal.
These are the ideas I have for now. I know all of these would work perfectly. I know many people who have employed these tactics and made a good amount of money!!
Photography- If you have some really good photography skills, and have an excellent knowledge of how to use photo editing software. You can do photo shoots for students and events that occur around campus. This serves great to make money and you can put this on your resume as a freelancer!
Cooking- if you are really good at cooking whether its cookies, baking, roasting, etc. You can cook up a whole batch of whatever you desire and sell it to your peers.
Cleaning- If you like to clean buy some hefty cleaning products and launch a cleaning business. You can charge anywhere from 25 -75 dollars for cleaning students houses or dorms. Many students don't have time to clean or are too lazy to do it. I'm pretty sure many wouldn't mind dividing the cost among their roomates and have you clean their house. A good starting point would be at $50 to $75 per house. You can raise the price if there are alot of people living there.
Dancing/ Musician- If you are a dancer or musician or are part of a dance team you can definitely charge student organizations and local community venues to do shows at their events.
Tutoring: If you have a vast knowledge with subjects such as Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Political Science, Biotechnology, Math, Calculus, Cell Physiology, etc. this is the perfect option for you. You can even charge to do group tutoring sessions and track your tutees success rates by keeping track of their progress.
DJ'ing: Many people would be excited to have a good DJ with a great knowledge of the hottest tracks out and how to mix them with other music styles to create an awesome music mix to last the night!! This would be a great gig for student hosted parties, school hosted parties, and large school events. You can make alot of money with this if you go to a party school!
Rent your living room: If you have a big house or big living room. Rent your space over the weekend to someone or a big group of people who want to throw a massive party. Also visitors who are not part of the guest list have to pay anywhere from 5 to 10 bucks to get in. You must set the guidelines down. What you will and will not accept. Also they have to sign whatever contract you guys come up with. They should clean up the space after they are done. If its part of your set deal.
These are the ideas I have for now. I know all of these would work perfectly. I know many people who have employed these tactics and made a good amount of money!!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Young Entrepreneurs Create their own JOBS
I read this article posted by the NYTimes recently and it was very inspirational. It has led me to seriously
consider my own business slowly overtime of course. I have decided to look into advertising and learning the ropes.
There are some tips I think people should follow when starting a business or monetizing a website or blog:
consider my own business slowly overtime of course. I have decided to look into advertising and learning the ropes.
There are some tips I think people should follow when starting a business or monetizing a website or blog:
- Make sure you have a nice little bundle of money to start out with. Taking out loans can make things troublesome but don't let it stop you if that is the road you choose to take.
- Choose something you are passionate about
- Make sure to know your target audience
- Focus on something you have expertise on
- Create a business plan you can actually follow through on
- Advertise. get the word out to your friends and local community!!
- Decide how you will advertise: social media, phone, ads, email, internet etc.
Apple Ipod Touch
8GB $229
32GB $299
64GB $399
Video calling is in full effect on iPod touch. Now your friends can see what you’re up to, when you’re up to it. With the tap of a button, you can wave "hi" while standing in a foreign country, get a second opinion on a pair of boots, or have your friends bear witness to the everyday pranks, bets, and dares they otherwise might have missed — new iPod touch to new iPod touch or iPhone 4 over Wi-Fi. And come face to face with even more fun.I checked the listings on amazon
It is much cheaper to buy an 8gb on the apple website which is only 229. You won't find it at that price on amazon. It is more costly.
Dominican Hair products
They say with good reason that Dominican hair-care products are the best in the world, especially for women with textured hair. Shampoos, rinses, conditioners, deep treatments, relaxers... Most of them made with the natural tropical ingredients of the Carribean, to promote healthy, luxurious, lustrous hair... Try them and see for yourself! Use this page to find them, read more about them, and order them conveniently and securely from Amazon.com.
DOMINICAN WOMEN ARE IN LOVE WITH THEIR HAIR! Dominican, Italian, Spanish, Brazilian, and other hair products that are popular among Dominicanas and now also with African-American women and all women of color because, like us, their hair demands the very best of treatment! Shampoos, rinses, conditioners, creams, moisturizers, leave-ins, deep treatments, fragrant tonics and oils, relaxers, revitalizers, hair growth treatments, detanglers, emergency treatments for damaged or over-processed hair, gray-hair covering, and all our hair needs, most of them made from healthy fragrant natural ingredients like coconut, cinnamon, avocado, olive, and rosemary!
This is a good place to check out these products: http://www.aleida.net/hair-en.html. These are some of the products that I have tried and were pretty good on my hair.
Alter ego - IMPAC EGO Treatment with Garlic 500ml
Original… and still the best. This special cream, rich in peptydes, vitamins, and mineral salts derived from wheat and garlic, represents an excellent alternative to hair treatment with animal-based extracts. It is ideal for treated hair such as bleached, dyed, permed, or relaxed. It leaves the hair soft and strong.
Star Lacio Lacio high shine leave in conditioner
BOE Crece Pelo Natural Phitoterapeutic Combo Set for Capillar Growth- helps induce hair growth
Silicon MIX Intensive Hair Deep Treatment 16oz By Avanti[health and Beauty]-
Apretadora Hair Fortifying Treatment is made with Apretol-15, Cinnamon, and Rosemary, which penetrates your hair like no other, providing shine and volume. Especially formulated for damaged hair and split end
Dominican Hair Product Sabila (Aloe) Creme Conditoner 8oz by Alfil.. Any of the Alfil products are very good
Boé Crece Pelo Natural Phytotherapeutic Treatment for Capilar Growth is made from natural plants to promote hair growth. Its innovative formula adds nutrients for health, beauty, vitality, softness and flexibility to the hair, helping the hair to grow. It may be used with all types of hair: Dominican, African-American, Asian, European; natural, straightened, bleached, or dyed.
Lafier Amazonia Maracuya and Vitamins C, E, & B Complex Moisturizing Treatment A deep treatment made with maracuya (ripe yellow passion fruit) and vitamins C, E, and B complex which regulates the sebaceous glands and gives your hair volume, softness, and shine.
Miss Key 10 in 1 Super Conditioner contains a mix of the 10 most important products for hair damaged by dyes and the sun's harmful effects. It is tropicalized for all hair types. That is why it is considered as a super conditioner.
THESE ARE SOME OF THE PRODUCTS THAT I USE WITH MOST FREQUENCY BUT YOU CAN FIND A WIDE ASSORTMENT OF HAIR SHAMPOOS, CONDITIONERS, DEEP TREATMENTS, DETANGLERS, STRAIGHTENERS..SO ON AND SO FORTH.
See also:
Are Dominican Blowouts Healthy?
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tokidoki LeSportSac
The combination of Tokidoki and Lesportsac creates a handbag that is not only dependable and sturdy but also very trendy and stylish. Lesportsac is a very well known handbag maker that is known for its very functional nylon bags. This company has created a very visible presence worldwide and it has partnered with some of very popular fashion icons to produce bags that are stylish and very popular amongst those who want both quality and fashion. Lesportsac handbags have the trademark sporty style that combines quality with versatility and functionality. These bags can be purchased in a number of styles from messenger bags and totes to backpacks and attaches. For those seeking trendy Lesportsac bags, the Tokidoki style combines quality with the trendsetting characters of this Japanese anime inspired line.
Tokidoki is a brand that was created by designers Simone Legno, Pooneh Mohajer and Ivan Arnold. The Tokidoki brand is comprised of Japanese characters. The characters are part of the Tokidoki world and have their own storylines and plots similar to a cartoon. This brand has become very popular since its conception in 2005, and the Tokidoki characters grace everything from apparel to handbags. The characters of the Tokidoki line are very popular and some people collect them. Although the Tokidoki line is fairly new its popularity has spawned much collaboration with other companies such as Lesportsac. The collaboration between Tokidoki and Lesportsac has produced some very stylish handbags that are highly sought after. Many of these bags are designed with very exciting unique prints that are characteristic of the Japanese urban culture.
The Tokidoki handbags produced by Lesportsac have certain characteristics that make them very unique. One major feature of these bags is the designs. Nearly all of these bags are made with some type of print on them. Even the simple black bags have a logo or an embedded print that is characteristic of the Tokidoki brand. Likewise, the bags usually come with a toy or a Qee. A Qee is a small Tokidoki figurine that is attached to the handbag. For people who are interested in collecting these bags sometimes people spend thousands of dollars just to own bags with different Qees. The Qees are characters that are well known Tokidoki characters. In some cases Lesportsac and Tokidoki will create very rare print bags. These are the special edition bags that are sometimes sold for five times their original value.
The Tokidoki handbags produced by Lesportsac have certain characteristics that make them very unique. One major feature of these bags is the designs. Nearly all of these bags are made with some type of print on them. Even the simple black bags have a logo or an embedded print that is characteristic of the Tokidoki brand. Likewise, the bags usually come with a toy or a Qee. A Qee is a small Tokidoki figurine that is attached to the handbag. For people who are interested in collecting these bags sometimes people spend thousands of dollars just to own bags with different Qees. The Qees are characters that are well known Tokidoki characters. In some cases Lesportsac and Tokidoki will create very rare print bags. These are the special edition bags that are sometimes sold for five times their original value.
Tokidoki handbags can be purchased via many different outlets. To ensure that you receive a quality, authentic handbag it is suggested that you purchase Tokidoki handbags from an authorized retailer. Lesportsac is the official maker of many of the Tokidoki handbags so you should consider purchasing these bags directly from the Lesportsac website. Likewise, many high end retailers carry the Tokidoki handbags. If you are interested in purchasing the Tokidoki handbags then you should definitely do your research before purchasing them from an independent retailer. Tokidoki handbags are a hot commodity, particularly the rare prints.
Please visit tokidoki handbags and tokidoki bags for more information.
Please visit tokidoki handbags and tokidoki bags for more information.
Toki Doki limited edition sephora tote
I LOVE TOKI DOKI. I got a free tokidoki tote from Sephora coming in the mail soon. Although the sad thing is how mainstream they have become. When I used to walk around school with my toki doki bag people thought it was weird lol.
Toki Doki robbery
simone legno
Toki Doki robbery
simone legno
Junko Mizuno
This manga artist does some cool figures inspired by fairty tales and other fantastical/ imaginary art. Its pretty cool. She makes creepy ones called hell babies. She's inspired by childhood cute toys such as my little pony and others. Must see. By the way she is Japanese. Japanese are amazingly creative. But then again that is my bias.
Miss Van
I love Miss Van's graffitiart. Unlike fafinettes which are cute, original, and urban, Miss Vans cartoons have a lot of depth which explores sexuality, animalism, friendship, love, and many other topics. I love how her art is very layered in its meaning. This is pretty hot!
Miss Van website..check out her cool works
MISS VAN EXHIBITION
Miss Van website..check out her cool works
Monday, December 6, 2010
Cheating
I know so many people who cheat. Have cheated. and felt good about it. I could never do it. I dont value that. Its not one of my values. I would hate if someone did that to me so I could never see myself doing it to anybody. But I know so many people who hit it and quit it. But I don't think I have the heart to do something like that. I mean if its not working out its easy for me to detach and break up with someone. But not cheat. I don't see how it would benefit me. I would gain nothing from it. And it would just be a part of myself that is being faked. Because deep down inside I know that that isn't me. I would feel fake. Even if everyone believed it I know it would be fake emotions. Anyways I could never cheat on someone. THE END.
superficial is subjective
I don't think its superficial to take care of yourself and buy yourself nice things. I know people who have commented that I am superficial because I like to buy clothing, sneakers, bags etc occasionally that I consider to be cute. I don't believe that is superficial. Now if I allow those material things to define me then yes it would be. I like to wear makeup, paint my nails and other girly shit because I genuinely think its fun. Yes I do believe in natural beauty but certain things are not naturally beautiful such as dark circles under your eyes, women with uni-brows or mustaches, obesity, love handles, Humongous moles, and long nose hair to name a few. But these are all in my opinion, I'm pretty sure there are people out there who become heavily attracted to a female or males based on these qualities. Sometimes a little make-up in the correct spots does go a long way. I mean just look at Oprah for example. (I didn't mean that as an offense.)
Sometimes I buy nice things as a reward for myself because I reached a goal I thought was really difficult to reach or never thought I would reach. In that case I don't mind buying something expensive for myself that I would regularly not get. I do celebrate myself, and encourage myself because frankly I know most people do not have my happiness, emotional and mental health as their number one priorities in life.Taking this into account I'm not going to stop being taking care of myself because what is superficial to one is normal to another.
I remember my grandma would buy herself a nice gift for her birthday or every so often and I didn't understand why she was buying herself gifts but it makes perfect sense now. And no it's not superficial. It's just another way of loving oneself. Some people think being on the extreme end of the natural spectrum is the way to go. I met people like this in college. Their hair was always nasty and greasy from not washing it, they had disgusting acne, ugly nails, ripped up clothing, smelled like ass-crack, never showered or wore deodorant. If that makes you happy, and this is how you demonstrate love for yourself GO FOR IT. But please refrain from talking shit about me because I do not engage in those decadent activities. I graduated in May and have been meaning to do something nice for myself. I' m still weighing my options. But you see, I don't feel that whichever option I choose makes me superficial.
Also I am not going to change any of those things about myself to make someone else feel comfortable. Mostly because the people who talk criticize and hate the hardest are the ones who eventually come to my side. I mean I'm not a label whore I'm a bargain girl. If I can find something I have wanted for a long time at a good bargain I am going to buy it. Many other people share this mentality. I don't believe this makes me materialistic unless I was frequently spending money buying new garments. Frankly, I just think some people are so insecure they don't know what else to do with themselves except to talk shit. To a large extent I do believe that people who hate do so because on a deeper level they have low self esteem and are jealous. And my experiences confirm this. If being superficial means trying to look my best, feel confident, in control of myself, liberated, and content with my life............then I am the most superficial bitch you will ever meet!!
Sometimes I buy nice things as a reward for myself because I reached a goal I thought was really difficult to reach or never thought I would reach. In that case I don't mind buying something expensive for myself that I would regularly not get. I do celebrate myself, and encourage myself because frankly I know most people do not have my happiness, emotional and mental health as their number one priorities in life.Taking this into account I'm not going to stop being taking care of myself because what is superficial to one is normal to another.
I remember my grandma would buy herself a nice gift for her birthday or every so often and I didn't understand why she was buying herself gifts but it makes perfect sense now. And no it's not superficial. It's just another way of loving oneself. Some people think being on the extreme end of the natural spectrum is the way to go. I met people like this in college. Their hair was always nasty and greasy from not washing it, they had disgusting acne, ugly nails, ripped up clothing, smelled like ass-crack, never showered or wore deodorant. If that makes you happy, and this is how you demonstrate love for yourself GO FOR IT. But please refrain from talking shit about me because I do not engage in those decadent activities. I graduated in May and have been meaning to do something nice for myself. I' m still weighing my options. But you see, I don't feel that whichever option I choose makes me superficial.
Also I am not going to change any of those things about myself to make someone else feel comfortable. Mostly because the people who talk criticize and hate the hardest are the ones who eventually come to my side. I mean I'm not a label whore I'm a bargain girl. If I can find something I have wanted for a long time at a good bargain I am going to buy it. Many other people share this mentality. I don't believe this makes me materialistic unless I was frequently spending money buying new garments. Frankly, I just think some people are so insecure they don't know what else to do with themselves except to talk shit. To a large extent I do believe that people who hate do so because on a deeper level they have low self esteem and are jealous. And my experiences confirm this. If being superficial means trying to look my best, feel confident, in control of myself, liberated, and content with my life............then I am the most superficial bitch you will ever meet!!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Highly logical females still have feelings
I found this article somewhere and I can totally relate to everything written here.
Hear me out, here. I'm saying girls have the capacity to be INTENSELY logical -- my ex was more logical than any GIRL I'd ever met. And for a long time afterward, I actually believed she was strictly logical, but that was a mistake.
It's my belief that ALL PEOPLE make decisions based on emotion. Some more than others, sure. And ESPECIALLY when it comes to making decisions about possible mates. People tend to go with their gut instincts. They also feel emotions for people and then backwards rationalize "why" they feel those emotions.
For example, I'm telling you that the ex was attractive because she challenged me and she expanded my perspectives, etc, but honestly, when I was with her for the first few months, I wasn't thinking about that stuff. I wasn't listing out bullet-points like a computer in a strictly detached way in order to determine whether or not I should stay with her. I felt an emotional pull to stay with her. SURE, afterward, you can list out all those traits in a logical manner, but IN THE MOMENT often we go by emotion. And we often use logic to backwards justify whatever we are feeling. So if I feel a negative emotion toward you for whatever reason, I can easily start pulling logical reasons from my mind to support that. But when it comes down to it, especially in interpersonal relationships, people are led by what they feel, and this applies to the most intensely logical people, men and women alike.
There are degrees of course. An ESFP is more likely to make IMPULSIVE decisions based on emotion than an INTJ for instance. And perhaps that's where our lapse in communication is stemming. A person can still make decisions based on a groundwork foundation of emotions without IMPULSIVELY doing so. An NT may more carefully consider the facts and the consequences of what they are about to do, but its hard to make the case that emotions can be completely shoved aside and play no role whatsoever. The person's emotions are very likely a reason he or she would take the time out to logically weigh the pros and cons of a situation. "Why do I feel like this? What would happen if I did this?"
Again, let me stress. Some people are more emotional than others. But to say that emotions are a complete non-factor in how people decide to proceed in interpersonal relationships is just not accurate to the reality of the situation. No matter HOW intensely logical the person can be! A capacity to be intensely logical and rational does NOT mean that a person lacks emotions or that the person's emotions have NO effect on their decision-making process.
Even I can admit to my emotions influencing my decision-making. That's only human. When it comes to the ways people usually try to exploit this, yes I see myself as more immune than most. And I'm not saying that for many women logic plays NO role in decisions regarding interpersonal relationships. I know for sure that for many women it plays a role, but most often that role is to clarify the emotions in question. In other words, the emotions are the "first cause," if you will. No emotions, no need to logically break things down.
Consider this. A woman might say, "I like this guy because he is funny. I like this guy because he is assertive. I like this guy for X." At first glance, that looks like a totally detached, logical way putting things into perspective. But wait a sec, would you still like this guy if he had no influence on your emotions? A person who is funny makes us laugh and feel good emotions. A person who is assertive enables us to feel more safe around them. See what I'm saying here? What if a guy has the unnerving trait of making you feel uncomfortable in his presence? You can't logic your way out of that one. If the guy's presence makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, then he can't LOGICALLY convince you to be attracted to him. Nor can you logically decide to make that feeling of discomfort go away. It's just there. He's causing it. And it's heavily influencing whether or not you want to hang around that guy.
And yes, logic can also intervene when extenuating circumstances crop up. For example, "He has kids and wants marriage. I enjoy being single. He's not right for me, so I better break it off." But then again, these circumstances are significant enough that they warrant an emotional disconnect. Some women can do this, some women can't. Some women keep going back to their wife-beating husbands over and over because of the emotions they get from him. For some women, this warrants an emotional disconnect wherein they must consider their own personal safety and future. And that kind of thing does happen. But barring such extenuating circumstances, most people can and do make decisions HEAVILY influenced by emotion. Not just women, everyone.
So my grand point here is that it is a MISTAKE for guys to go around assuming that they can completely ignore a girl's emotions JUST because she seems logical to him. I did that toward the end of my relationship with the ENTP, and it was a huge blunder. I was living under the delusion that some people are like computers, and that that you can reason with them logically and that their emotions are a total non-factor, but that is not the case AT ALL, and guys who live under this delusion are in for a rude awakening. So if you want to believe that certain girls are the logical equivalent of "Data" from Star Trek, go ahead, but you are ignoring and denying their basic and fundamental humanity.
Hear me out, here. I'm saying girls have the capacity to be INTENSELY logical -- my ex was more logical than any GIRL I'd ever met. And for a long time afterward, I actually believed she was strictly logical, but that was a mistake.
It's my belief that ALL PEOPLE make decisions based on emotion. Some more than others, sure. And ESPECIALLY when it comes to making decisions about possible mates. People tend to go with their gut instincts. They also feel emotions for people and then backwards rationalize "why" they feel those emotions.
For example, I'm telling you that the ex was attractive because she challenged me and she expanded my perspectives, etc, but honestly, when I was with her for the first few months, I wasn't thinking about that stuff. I wasn't listing out bullet-points like a computer in a strictly detached way in order to determine whether or not I should stay with her. I felt an emotional pull to stay with her. SURE, afterward, you can list out all those traits in a logical manner, but IN THE MOMENT often we go by emotion. And we often use logic to backwards justify whatever we are feeling. So if I feel a negative emotion toward you for whatever reason, I can easily start pulling logical reasons from my mind to support that. But when it comes down to it, especially in interpersonal relationships, people are led by what they feel, and this applies to the most intensely logical people, men and women alike.
There are degrees of course. An ESFP is more likely to make IMPULSIVE decisions based on emotion than an INTJ for instance. And perhaps that's where our lapse in communication is stemming. A person can still make decisions based on a groundwork foundation of emotions without IMPULSIVELY doing so. An NT may more carefully consider the facts and the consequences of what they are about to do, but its hard to make the case that emotions can be completely shoved aside and play no role whatsoever. The person's emotions are very likely a reason he or she would take the time out to logically weigh the pros and cons of a situation. "Why do I feel like this? What would happen if I did this?"
Again, let me stress. Some people are more emotional than others. But to say that emotions are a complete non-factor in how people decide to proceed in interpersonal relationships is just not accurate to the reality of the situation. No matter HOW intensely logical the person can be! A capacity to be intensely logical and rational does NOT mean that a person lacks emotions or that the person's emotions have NO effect on their decision-making process.
Even I can admit to my emotions influencing my decision-making. That's only human. When it comes to the ways people usually try to exploit this, yes I see myself as more immune than most. And I'm not saying that for many women logic plays NO role in decisions regarding interpersonal relationships. I know for sure that for many women it plays a role, but most often that role is to clarify the emotions in question. In other words, the emotions are the "first cause," if you will. No emotions, no need to logically break things down.
Consider this. A woman might say, "I like this guy because he is funny. I like this guy because he is assertive. I like this guy for X." At first glance, that looks like a totally detached, logical way putting things into perspective. But wait a sec, would you still like this guy if he had no influence on your emotions? A person who is funny makes us laugh and feel good emotions. A person who is assertive enables us to feel more safe around them. See what I'm saying here? What if a guy has the unnerving trait of making you feel uncomfortable in his presence? You can't logic your way out of that one. If the guy's presence makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, then he can't LOGICALLY convince you to be attracted to him. Nor can you logically decide to make that feeling of discomfort go away. It's just there. He's causing it. And it's heavily influencing whether or not you want to hang around that guy.
And yes, logic can also intervene when extenuating circumstances crop up. For example, "He has kids and wants marriage. I enjoy being single. He's not right for me, so I better break it off." But then again, these circumstances are significant enough that they warrant an emotional disconnect. Some women can do this, some women can't. Some women keep going back to their wife-beating husbands over and over because of the emotions they get from him. For some women, this warrants an emotional disconnect wherein they must consider their own personal safety and future. And that kind of thing does happen. But barring such extenuating circumstances, most people can and do make decisions HEAVILY influenced by emotion. Not just women, everyone.
So my grand point here is that it is a MISTAKE for guys to go around assuming that they can completely ignore a girl's emotions JUST because she seems logical to him. I did that toward the end of my relationship with the ENTP, and it was a huge blunder. I was living under the delusion that some people are like computers, and that that you can reason with them logically and that their emotions are a total non-factor, but that is not the case AT ALL, and guys who live under this delusion are in for a rude awakening. So if you want to believe that certain girls are the logical equivalent of "Data" from Star Trek, go ahead, but you are ignoring and denying their basic and fundamental humanity.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
rational women dilemma
I am writing this particular post to explain how Rational women are usually misunderstood in terms of emotion. I express pretty deep emotional truths in my writings. Often folks will approach me after one such emotionally tinged post and are surprised to see me looking pretty much the way I normally look. I sometimes wonder if they are expecting to see me sobbing openly and wandering around with only one shoe -- not that there is anything wrong with that image. On the surface, nothing appears to have changed about my demeanor. The difference is that if you really look in to my eyes, you will see my pain, suffering and deep emotion. It is not stoicism, or some self-delusion about carrying on in spite of it all. I truly believe stating that I am in pain is sufficient and I find it insulting to have to put on an act to “prove it” to anyone. Many introverted Rationals express their emotions quietly, self-contained and with restraint … until it needs to be shouted to be heard.
And that is when the “Urban & Warrior” parts kick in for me. If I have to shout about my pain in order to be heard, you will hear it in my native tongue.
So let’s summarize, shall we … I express myself deeply when I write. The emotions are real and deeply felt. I will not always explicitly exhibit the extent of my emotional state, but it is there to see if you look into my eyes. If I ever have to prove it to you … back up a bit for your own safety.
And that is when the “Urban & Warrior” parts kick in for me. If I have to shout about my pain in order to be heard, you will hear it in my native tongue.
So let’s summarize, shall we … I express myself deeply when I write. The emotions are real and deeply felt. I will not always explicitly exhibit the extent of my emotional state, but it is there to see if you look into my eyes. If I ever have to prove it to you … back up a bit for your own safety.
entp- intro-extrovert
In terms of reasoning? Yes, highly extroverted; I can't even finish a thought without having to whisper it or say it out loud, or it just doesn't feel complete. When I think through things, I do it through an external process; I think far more clearly when describing something TO someone else, than I do just sitting there thinking about it on my own. This is essentially how extroverts work in mbti.
However, the typical "introvert/extrovert" yeu hear about normally isn't the MBTI definition at all. It's more whether yeu like to deal with people and such. Yes, I can put on a good face and stand out great in a crowd... I can tell stories or be ridiculously charismatic when I so choose to be, it comes very naturally. So, too, however... comes a dislike of people. I'm scared of crowds; it's not quite intense enough to be a true debilitating phobia, but I seriously don't like them. I don't like groups of people, and honestly, I don't like dealing with people in general on more than a 1 on 1 basis. I want to talk to yeu directly. Chat programs I *LOVE* to death, I can have 5 conversations going at once with different people, and each one is private and focused on that one person... I can be happy and silly with one person, while still being sympathetic towards another who's having a bad day, but they need not know I'm feeling both things at once and won't get depressed or frustrated over such. If we were in person, everyone would have to be on the same page. I'm far happier being able to tailor fit myself to each individual's mood and personality. I can make inappropriate jokes with people I know will appreciate such, and can be more reserved with someone else who I wouldn't want to even know I think like that XD
But yeah, generally I am not sociable.
Actually... one friend of mine put it to me that they believed I thought of people this way: To me, people are tools to be used. They provide humour, or interesting discussion, fun, love, or whotever, but as soon as they've lost their use, they are of no more value to me anymore. So long as they maintain a use, they are kept around, but if a tool breaks down, just get another one.
And sadly enough... it's kinda true. It kinda hurt to hear it said that way, but after thinking it through... he was right. That is how I think about people. When yeu stop being relevant to me directly, and no longer provide direct benefit, I no longer have any interest in yeu.
I don't care about the world. I don't care about the starving third world children. Guess whot? They were starving yesterday too. I didn't even know they existed. I had no reason to feel bad. Today I now see a picture of some starving kid I didn't even know existed before. Oddly enough... this doesn't bother me. It's no different than it was yesterday. The starving kid doesn't know I saw their picture. They won't know if I never do anything to raise a finger. They don't know me. I don't know them. There are 6.5 BILLION people on this planet. I can't be emotionally invested in every single one of them; it's not possible. 40,000 die every single day. Do I care that someone died in a car accident in the newspaper? No. Do I care that they were stoned to death? Not really. I might be irritated that someone would DO that, but I have absolutely zero connection with the individual who died. If I directly KNOW them and am attached to them, then YES I will be concerned... but the fact that people panicked about the WTC thing is just... so foreign to me.
When it happened, they showed pictures from a third world nation with people CHEERING... I laughed and promptly got yelled at for doing so. But I laughed because those third world people had NO clue whot they were cheering about. The absurdity of it amused me, that they would be happy that people they didn't even know existed the day before died. Why? They didn't KNOW them. They got no benefit from such. They gained nothing. Well some of them may've now but I don't think that was afghanistan or iraq that was being interviewed.
In any case, the point is that I'm very detached from humanity as a whole. I don't really like being human. It's kind of something I feel ashamed of most of the time. I don't want to be connected to yeu people, and I don't want to have anything to do with yeu if yeu aren't directly related to something that interests me.
The people on this board? Yeu amuse me, yeu entertain me, yeu provoke thoughts and discussions, though admittedly I have been far too distracted to really put true thought into stuff lately and my arguments and posts have been rather lackluster due to such, but hei, it happens.
Regardless, I would notice and grieve if someone here I was aware of died. Eck, peguy, jennifer, sky is blue, even lark or victor. Well maybe not victor, but I'd at least be kinda bleh he was dead, I'm not sure if grieve would be quite the right term for it but whotever.
Point is I am connected to those who stand out to me (I didn't want to list everyone, the list's too long, if yeu're not on the short list don't worry, victor is so it's not based on quality ^.~ ), and those I interact with regularly.
Here's a way to describe it...
If yeu have a favorite tool, a hammer or something sentimental given to yeu by a parent for yeur birthday before they died or something, sure yeu may have no use for a hammer most of the time, but it'd hold sentimental value and yeu would cherish it.
Now yeu come across an old beaten up damaged hammer on the highway when driving along it that's rotting on the side of the road.
Do yeu feel bad that the hammer is broken on the side of the road? No. Yeu probably don't even look at it twice, or might wonder how it got there, but frankly wouldn't care. If the cherished last gift from someone yeu cared about was lost or damaged, it would hurt, despite that it's "just a hammer". It has value, it has meaning, it has a direct emotional connection to yeu as something important.
This is how I view people. I know it may sound cold and heartless, but it's really not. I truly care about people who I know well and value, I just don't see any reason to waste my heart on the endless sea of nameless faces out there.
"Live for yourself, there's noone else more worth living for. Begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more." ~ Anthem - RUSH
In any case, I'm not social. Yet am highly social. I love to interact with people on a one on one basis... but I can just as easily do without people. As... long as I know they're not worried about me. When I was stuck in the hospital, and at home over christmas, I was PANICKING badly, because people didn't know where I was. The idea that I would leave people I care about not knowing where I was, if I was hurt, injured, sick, or dead, is something that bothers me to the deepest roots.
But yeah... if yeu're not on the list of people I know, I don't have any interest in yeu. Yeu're an extra on a movie screen about to get stomped on by godzilla. Yeu exist to fill space and make the streets not empty, yeu have no further purpose to me, I provide yeu no further courtesy.
I'm very introverted in terms of how I deal with people, but extroverted in terms of how I deal with thinking; my thoughts are externalized... I am by MBTI's definition, highly extroverted. In terms of the "do yeu like people?" definition, I'm highly introverted.
So there yeu go.
ENTP = introverted extrovert XD
Yes. I probably would be more social if I hadn't gotten used to the fact that most people don't want to socialize the same way that I do. And they are not interested in the same types of things. People invite me out because I am fun, a comic relief, and know a little bit about a lot of things - but on a one-on-one level, I pretty much bore people to tears. So I give the people what they want, and I get into it. I get hyper and excited and whatever. But when I come home, I am back to my normal nerdy shut-in self.
However, the typical "introvert/extrovert" yeu hear about normally isn't the MBTI definition at all. It's more whether yeu like to deal with people and such. Yes, I can put on a good face and stand out great in a crowd... I can tell stories or be ridiculously charismatic when I so choose to be, it comes very naturally. So, too, however... comes a dislike of people. I'm scared of crowds; it's not quite intense enough to be a true debilitating phobia, but I seriously don't like them. I don't like groups of people, and honestly, I don't like dealing with people in general on more than a 1 on 1 basis. I want to talk to yeu directly. Chat programs I *LOVE* to death, I can have 5 conversations going at once with different people, and each one is private and focused on that one person... I can be happy and silly with one person, while still being sympathetic towards another who's having a bad day, but they need not know I'm feeling both things at once and won't get depressed or frustrated over such. If we were in person, everyone would have to be on the same page. I'm far happier being able to tailor fit myself to each individual's mood and personality. I can make inappropriate jokes with people I know will appreciate such, and can be more reserved with someone else who I wouldn't want to even know I think like that XD
But yeah, generally I am not sociable.
Actually... one friend of mine put it to me that they believed I thought of people this way: To me, people are tools to be used. They provide humour, or interesting discussion, fun, love, or whotever, but as soon as they've lost their use, they are of no more value to me anymore. So long as they maintain a use, they are kept around, but if a tool breaks down, just get another one.
And sadly enough... it's kinda true. It kinda hurt to hear it said that way, but after thinking it through... he was right. That is how I think about people. When yeu stop being relevant to me directly, and no longer provide direct benefit, I no longer have any interest in yeu.
I don't care about the world. I don't care about the starving third world children. Guess whot? They were starving yesterday too. I didn't even know they existed. I had no reason to feel bad. Today I now see a picture of some starving kid I didn't even know existed before. Oddly enough... this doesn't bother me. It's no different than it was yesterday. The starving kid doesn't know I saw their picture. They won't know if I never do anything to raise a finger. They don't know me. I don't know them. There are 6.5 BILLION people on this planet. I can't be emotionally invested in every single one of them; it's not possible. 40,000 die every single day. Do I care that someone died in a car accident in the newspaper? No. Do I care that they were stoned to death? Not really. I might be irritated that someone would DO that, but I have absolutely zero connection with the individual who died. If I directly KNOW them and am attached to them, then YES I will be concerned... but the fact that people panicked about the WTC thing is just... so foreign to me.
When it happened, they showed pictures from a third world nation with people CHEERING... I laughed and promptly got yelled at for doing so. But I laughed because those third world people had NO clue whot they were cheering about. The absurdity of it amused me, that they would be happy that people they didn't even know existed the day before died. Why? They didn't KNOW them. They got no benefit from such. They gained nothing. Well some of them may've now but I don't think that was afghanistan or iraq that was being interviewed.
In any case, the point is that I'm very detached from humanity as a whole. I don't really like being human. It's kind of something I feel ashamed of most of the time. I don't want to be connected to yeu people, and I don't want to have anything to do with yeu if yeu aren't directly related to something that interests me.
The people on this board? Yeu amuse me, yeu entertain me, yeu provoke thoughts and discussions, though admittedly I have been far too distracted to really put true thought into stuff lately and my arguments and posts have been rather lackluster due to such, but hei, it happens.
Regardless, I would notice and grieve if someone here I was aware of died. Eck, peguy, jennifer, sky is blue, even lark or victor. Well maybe not victor, but I'd at least be kinda bleh he was dead, I'm not sure if grieve would be quite the right term for it but whotever.
Point is I am connected to those who stand out to me (I didn't want to list everyone, the list's too long, if yeu're not on the short list don't worry, victor is so it's not based on quality ^.~ ), and those I interact with regularly.
Here's a way to describe it...
If yeu have a favorite tool, a hammer or something sentimental given to yeu by a parent for yeur birthday before they died or something, sure yeu may have no use for a hammer most of the time, but it'd hold sentimental value and yeu would cherish it.
Now yeu come across an old beaten up damaged hammer on the highway when driving along it that's rotting on the side of the road.
Do yeu feel bad that the hammer is broken on the side of the road? No. Yeu probably don't even look at it twice, or might wonder how it got there, but frankly wouldn't care. If the cherished last gift from someone yeu cared about was lost or damaged, it would hurt, despite that it's "just a hammer". It has value, it has meaning, it has a direct emotional connection to yeu as something important.
This is how I view people. I know it may sound cold and heartless, but it's really not. I truly care about people who I know well and value, I just don't see any reason to waste my heart on the endless sea of nameless faces out there.
"Live for yourself, there's noone else more worth living for. Begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more." ~ Anthem - RUSH
In any case, I'm not social. Yet am highly social. I love to interact with people on a one on one basis... but I can just as easily do without people. As... long as I know they're not worried about me. When I was stuck in the hospital, and at home over christmas, I was PANICKING badly, because people didn't know where I was. The idea that I would leave people I care about not knowing where I was, if I was hurt, injured, sick, or dead, is something that bothers me to the deepest roots.
But yeah... if yeu're not on the list of people I know, I don't have any interest in yeu. Yeu're an extra on a movie screen about to get stomped on by godzilla. Yeu exist to fill space and make the streets not empty, yeu have no further purpose to me, I provide yeu no further courtesy.
I'm very introverted in terms of how I deal with people, but extroverted in terms of how I deal with thinking; my thoughts are externalized... I am by MBTI's definition, highly extroverted. In terms of the "do yeu like people?" definition, I'm highly introverted.
So there yeu go.
ENTP = introverted extrovert XD
Yes. I probably would be more social if I hadn't gotten used to the fact that most people don't want to socialize the same way that I do. And they are not interested in the same types of things. People invite me out because I am fun, a comic relief, and know a little bit about a lot of things - but on a one-on-one level, I pretty much bore people to tears. So I give the people what they want, and I get into it. I get hyper and excited and whatever. But when I come home, I am back to my normal nerdy shut-in self.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Masculine females
Females w/ masculine personalities repel masculine men and attract feminine men. Although the masculine exterior exists fundamentally she's feminine and will eventually desire a masculine man to take care of her. That is a problem for the feminine guy bc he won't be able to live up to that standard.
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